We cats all handle things in our own way. I see that Queenie has had her say. Helen should have had me on first. I am an experienced writer. She got me to write the Christmas letter a few years ago. She thought I would be good at telling all her friends what went on here in this house. But, NO! She had to let Queenie have the first say. See
Cat Facts From The Queen Queenie and I do not get on well. So when she was up on the desk dictating to Helen, I was not allowed near. SO NOW IT'S MY TURN.

You might like to know why I am called Casper, the Ghost. Whenever company comes I am gone! Also, I am a slight seven pounds. I can float down the hall, almost unseen. Now you see me; now you don't!

FACT: Did you know that cats get bored? Well, we do. Even in a household of 5 (in my time here in the house it has been up to 6) cats and a dog, we get bored. So I am going to tell you a few FACTS to help you keep your feline friends from becoming bored.

1. Leave things around on the floor. Humans who are "clean freaks" shouldn't own cats. FACT: We love clutter—not confusion, mind you—just clutter. We like to scoot things around on the floor; pick things up in our mouth (the lid off an aerosol can, for example) and carry them about; wrestle with things, like old socks; curl up and go to sleep on an abandoned old sweater of our human's--things like that. I especially like catnip rags. I don't care what they look like. I just chew them up anyway.

2. FACT: Sometimes when I am bored I get up on the table and eat the flowers in a vase, or nibble on the plants. So what I suggest is, especially for indoor cats like me, get your human to plant some grass in a container for us to nibble on. Grass is not only good for us, but it also gives us something to do when we are bored. Humans should make this an ongoing thing, so that there is fresh grass for us all the time. We will be more inclined to leave the houseplants alone. But don't hold me to THAT!

3. FACT: Many houseplants and flowers which humans have around, are not good for felines. Check out which ones are safe for human children and you can more-or-less go on that for cats, too.

4. FACT: Did you know that felines get bored with the same old toys, day after day? Let me give you a list of things which cost almost nothing, which we love to play with: corks; walnuts (these are really fun!); strips of paper; feathers (especially peacock feathers, or long turkey feathers); golf balls; super balls; tin foil balls (but Queenie has already clued you in on this); empty spools from thread (of course, we would like it if there was thread left on, but that is very bad for kitties); paper clips. This is a list of small things. Now lets go on. And of course, as Queenie has said, a whole pile of computer paper edging. Boy! Do we love that.

5. FACT: Don't get the idea that to break our boredom you can grab us and groom us. We hate to be groomed. And speaking for myself, I think I am gorgeous. I am a neutered male, cream point Himalayan, and am proud of it. I have a beautiful tail. But leave it alone. If you humans were to ask any of us felines, we would all give you the same answer. WE HATE BEING GROOMED. The humans would tell you it is necessary. Okay, let them tell you, but you'll not hear it from ME. It is not my idea of breaking boredom.

6. FACT: Things we don't like, at least for my part. I hate the vacuum cleaner. I will run and hide as soon as that big noisy monster comes on the scene. And I just hate cleaning day, as everything in my nice quiet world is turned topsy-turvy. This does not constitute getting rid of boredom, in my books.

7. FACT: Cats love to hide in cardboard boxes and paper bags. So, please, humans, leave a few around once in awhile. Don't be so paranoid about NEAT. We don't like NEAT. (We do like CLEAN, though. There's a difference.) We promise, you can pick the paper bag up after about an hour—or if you like, a week. We will be bored with it by then--maybe. But well placed boxes don't really mess up a house, so leave one around for us. We will thank you for it. I'll tell you what my male slave did recently. He built us a maze. At first it was so big we were afraid of it, but then he cut it down. Now all five us love it.

8. FACT: We like to watch T.V. sometimes. We don't really understand HUMAN talk, but we love to watch all the things jumping around on the screen. And, oh by the way, we love to watch thing move on the computer screen, too. I have sat and looked at the fish floating around on the screensaver. Boy, I would love to catch one of those pretty fish. And speaking of the computer: I see that thing Helen calls MOUSE. I wonder, is it edible? Yukk! I don't think so.

9. FACT: We kitty cats love to be up on something high. I personally love the dining room table. Like, recently I found a marvelous thing to kill boredom. There was a delightful tassel on the end of a string, dangling just above the table. I reached up and grabbed it. Wow! The Light came on. A new game! What fun! I would not become bored with that game. Helen was not too pleased, but I did see her smile. Then, wouldn't you know it? She took the tassel off. Now I can't reach the pull chain.

10. FACT: This is very important. When Blondie lived here (sorry to say, she has since died of a kidney disease) I saw her climb into the clothes dryer while Helen had her back turned. She sure got scolded for that. Helen is very careful about closing the dryer door at all times, but this time she was in the middle of folding clothes when Blondie got in. So, humans do not think that letting kitty sleep in the dryer will help eliminate boredom. It is very dangerous. What if you forgot, and shut the dryer door, and kitty was still in it? What a horrid thought!

11. FACT: This is not something my humans do, but I know it would break boredom for us felines sometimes; although myself, I would not relish the idea. Cats can be trained to a leash. If kitty is trained to a leash early enough, he will get the idea that he is as smart as his canine housemate. (Of course we felines know we are far smarter than any canine.) Well, go for it. If you have a feline that is bored and restless, and just yearns to be out-of-doors, then teach him to take a walk with you and FIDO.

Well, now I am BORED with giving you FACTS. I'm outa' here.
CASPER.

© Helen Dowd