Hi! I’m Scooter. It’s about time someone got some FACTS straight about how I think, and why I act the way I do. So here is my two-cents worth.

I'm the shy one in the cat family. I don't know why my humans named me "Scooter," but I've heard them say that I am well named. When I hear a stranger come into the house, or someone that I think is a stranger, I scoot out of the way. I listen, then cautiously I sneak out and take a peak. At night I sleep on a chair under the table, well out of sight of everyone, where I sleep until I hear my slave getting up. Oh good! Now it's time for my morning treat.

Some people say cats aren’t smart. They say dogs are smarter.

FACT: “Some people compare the intelligence of cats to dogs, using the example of training to ‘prove’ that dogs are smarter.” (I didn’t think this up all myself. I copied it from a book Helen has on her desk. I may be copying other stuff too; so don’t get the idea that I am super-smart.) This stuff I am giving you is meant for MOST cats.

Back to my point: “The FACT that cats can’t be trained like dogs only means cats don’t think like dogs.” Think about it–my own idea–have you ever heard of a dog that can be trained to be neat and tidy, cleaning themselves from head to toe, like we cats do? Or do dogs use a special place to do their ‘do-dos’? Like a litter box? Do dogs cover up their ‘do-dos’, like we do? Cats are easy to train that way. FACT we always knew how to do this. Mommy showed me just once. I’ve done it that way ever since. Why didn’t Corky’s dog-mommy train him to do that? Oh no! Corky has to be let outside all the time. Helen has to stop what she is doing to let him out, or take him out. What a drag!

FACT: You can’t make us cats do anything we don’t want to do. We are not like dogs--just puppets. They do as their humans tell them—at least most of them do. I think Corky must be part cat. He doesn't always do what he is told. I've heard Helen say that Corky can be very stubborn if he doesn't want to do anything. Maybe he learned it because he has four cat house-mates. … And don’t get the idea that slapping or punishing a cat is going to do any good. We will either bite or scratch you, or we will run away and hide. I know I would hide, but H & H don’t hit me, so I don’t know for sure what I would do. But FACT: the best solution to behavior problems is to think of us as small children. Teach us simple rules. Now, you didn’t hear this from me, but FACT: have a squirt bottle full of water, or a can filled with rocks, or clap your hands real hard, if you see us doing something you think we shouldn’t do. I know H & H just clap their hands. That’s enough for me. Oh yea, they sometimes go “AH! AH!” real loud. Then I’m outa' here real fast. And ya know what else happens when they do the “Ah, Ah” thing? Corky gets in on the act and chases whichever one of us kitties is being bad. I hate that.

FACT: When you scold a cat, just go about your business. Don’t start feeling bad that you got mad, and go and apologize to us. That unduz everything you tried to teach us. And FACT: we lose respect for you, and won’t listen next time.

FACT: This is something else that humans do (not MY humans). They punish kitty AFTER he has done something wrong, like knock over a glass of milk. A few seconds after he has done his bad deed, he has forgotten all about it, and is looking for something else bad to do. A good example of this behavior is Eezy. I don't think he has a conscience. So if you come along and scold kitty for the spilled milk, he won’t have a clue what you’re going on about. So FACT: catch him in the act. Do what you have to do. Then forget it. Kitty will have.

FACT: Some good things we do, and why–-
a. Why do we rub? Cats like touching people. I am an exception to that rule. I don't like going up to people (oh, I do have my favorites), and rub against their legs. You see, cats use scent as communication. The cheeks, chin, and base of the tail of a cat have more sebaceous glands than the rest of the cat’s body. ...These glands secrete body oils with the cat’s odor.” That’s big talk. Now for my version of this. We love to be scratched in these places, under the chin, behind the ears, top of our tail.

b. Why do we knead? When I was a kitten I used to knead Mommy to make her milk come down. Now I knead because I am happy and contented, and like to tell H & H that.

c. Why do we purr? Lots of people say we purr because we are happy. True. But that’s not the only reason. We have lots of purrs. We purr when we greet you. This is a short “purr-meow” sound. We purr when we want food or attention. This is a short murmur-purr. We purr when we are contented. This is a continuous purr. Sometimes we purr so softly that humans can’t hear us. We even purr when we are stressed. That is a nervous-purr—a little louder than a contented purr. When we snooze we can purr, but when we really sleep, we do not purr. For myself, I purr so softly that I can barely be heard.

d. Why do we roll over? I don’t know about other cats, but I roll over when I want to be fed. H. leaves dry cat food down for us all the time, but in the morning, she opens a can of food and puts a bit on our special dish. It’s never enough. She only allows us one small tin amongst the five of us. e. Why do we raise our tails? This is a gesture of friendliness. When Helen comes home from town, we greet her, all of us, and we raise our tails and walk in front of her, trying to trip her so she will notice us. Cats use a lot of body language. Ever noticed? Watch your cat’s eyes. Our eyes tell you a lot about us.

Oh! Oh! Here comes Helen. Got ta skidaddle outa' here. See ya..........
Scooter

© Helen Dowd