John
20:19-31.
Historical Setting:
Time:
Sunday evening, April 16, A.D. 30.
Place: An
upper room in Jerusalem.
Persons: Christ, Thomas and
the other ten disciples.
Thomas is not with the other disciples in the
upper room on this night of great rejoicing. So devastated by
Jesus’ death is he that he has no desire to see anyone, even
the other disciples. In fact, he has no more desire to live.
He sits all day thinking of all the horrible things that have
happened in the past little while. He recalls Christ’s
triumphal entry into Jerusalem, and how joyous an occasion
that was. But it seemed from then on everything went downhill
for his Lord and his friends and himself.
To his mind comes that last supper just before things went
so terribly wrong. Tears well up in his eyes as he thinks
about Judas and what he had done. “How could someone who
had spent three long, wonderful years with Jesus have done
such a thing?” His heart is filled with anger as he
thinks, unreasonably, that if Judas had not sold Christ to the
leaders all this would not have happened. Poor Thomas! His
heart is breaking as he sits all alone, refusing to venture
out, even to join the others in a place so dear to them
all--the upper room.
A few of the disciples, sad at the thought of Thomas' state
of mind--sitting all by himself, refusing to join the
rest--decide to pay him a visit.... Thomas hears someone
calling his name, and before he can even stir himself, his
friends burst into his house. “Thomas! Thomas! We have some
wonderful news. You should have been with us last night. Jesus
is no longer dead. He is risen!”
Thomas rises momentarily. “You are just saying that to
try to cheer me up,” he says, sitting down again. “Yes,
I have heard that some of the woman say they have seen Him,
but woman are always imagining things.”
“No! No!” cry his friends. “Jesus really
is alive! We have seen Him. Last night while we supped
together He appeared to us. He ate with us. Truly, He is
alive!”
Again Thomas stands up. He looks incredulously at his
friends as they continue. “Mary Magdalene saw Jesus first,
and then some of the other women. At first we didn’t believe
them, but then we heard it from Peter. Well, you know Peter.
He is impulsive and we thought maybe he had gotten carried
away, saying that angels talked to him. But then we heard the
same report from John. Just as we were discussing the
incredulity of it all, in walks Cleopas and a friend, saying
that they had actually talked with Him, and even eaten with
them. It still was hard for us to believe, although we were
much encouraged by the news.
"And then, even though the doors were locked for fear of
those fanatical Jewish leaders, a light appeared in the room.
Dazzled at first, we soon realized that it was no apparition.
We actually were looking at our beloved Lord. And then He
spoke. He said, ‘Peace!’ Our hearts
were rejoicing. And to confirm that we were not just imagining
that it was a spirit, Christ asked for some food. And He
actually ate, right there before our eyes. Not only that, He
showed us His scars. No, Thomas. No. This is no
imagination. Christ IS ALIVE!”
Thomas smiles a weak smile. Although his spirit is somewhat
uplifted by this report, his depression is so deep that he
cannot fathom all that his friends have told him. He sits down
again, burying his head in his hands. Then, lifting his head,
he shakes it. “Such a thing could not have happened. You
are all so enthused that I am afraid you have been deceived.
You know those Jewish leaders. They will do anything to
squelch the fanaticism that they feel Jesus was spreading.
What you saw is all a hoax. No. Unless I see for myself the
scars of the nails in His hands, and put my finger into those
prints, I will not believe.”
“Oh Thomas,” one of the disciples ventures, “why are
you still doubtful after what we have just told you? Why can’t
you believe? If you had come to the upper room, as we invited
you to do, you would have seen for yourself.”
Thomas would hear no more. Politely, but emphatically, he
asks his friends to leave. But at the door, one of them turns
and says, “Will you not at least meet with us, Thomas? Each
night we shall be in that upper room. Perhaps Jesus will
appear again, and you will be able to see for yourself. Please
come, won’t you?”
The door closes behind his friends, and Thomas is again by
himself. He sinks even further into depression. He swings
between hope and despair, hope and despair. “Oh if it were
only true! But it can’t be. It just can’t be.” Thomas
was not yet ready to accept the wonderful truth that Jesus
truly lives.
That night, however, Thomas decides to accept the
invitation of his friends. It is the least he can do, after
they had taken so much trouble to visit him. With doubt, but
expectation, Thomas waits with his friends in the upper room.
Although the others talk enthusiastically about the things
that have taken place, Thomas does not enter into the
conversation. He sits glum and sad. And as he expects, Christ
does not show up. He depression deepens. He knew it could not
be true! People do not rise from the dead. Oh yes, he recalls
the resurrection of Lazarus. That was amazing, but it was not
the same. Lazarus had died of natural causes. His body was not
lacerated and mutilated and nailed to a cross, as Christ’s had
been. He saw what they had done to Christ. He
saw His body taken from the cross and laid in
the tomb. No. His friends were mistaken. Christ has not
arisen. If He had, why had He not shown up, as his friends had
said He had on the previous evening? He would not come again
to the upper room. There was nothing left for him. His life
was over. More despondent than ever, he leaves the room,
returning to his home.
But something draws Thomas to that upper room, night after
night. Each night when Christ does not show up, Thomas returns
to his place, each time sinking deeper into depression. “I
knew it wasn’t true!” he says to his friends. “I will
not come again. This is futile, and each night I come I go
away feeling more sad than I have ever been before. No.
Tomorrow I am going to Galilee.”
“Oh, wait just one more day, Thomas,” the group all
urge. “It is just a week tomorrow when He first appeared to
us. That day will always remain sacred to us. And we shall
remember on each and every first-day of the week to celebrate
Christ’s resurrection. Perhaps tomorrow He will appear again.
“
“All right!” Thomas sighs and begins to leave the
room. “I will come just one more time, but then I must get
on with my life, or I am not sure just what will
happen.”
Sunday arrives. The eleven disciples are gathered again in
the upper room. Ten of them are rejoicing, their faces bright
with anticipation that perhaps tonight they will see their
beloved Lord again. Thomas, on the other hand, sits with his
head down, glum and despondent. He wishes that the enthusiasm
of his friends would rub off on him, but the more joyous they
are, the more depressed he feels. He wishes he had done what
he had planned, gone to Galilee to get on with his life.
Suddenly
the room is filled with light. Thomas lifts his head. To his
amazement, standing in the midst of the group is Jesus.
And how wonderful is His appearance. The face he had seen at
the crucifixion, drawn, white, and pain-filled, is now
glorious--as bright as the sun. Rest and peace are in His
eyes. He is just like the Jesus he had known; yet He is
different. His face is so radiant that he can scarcely look at
Him. So brilliant is the light around His form that it is like
what he had witnessed that time Jesus had come down from the
mount of transfiguration. And now, Thomas, along with the
others, hide their faces from the brilliance.
Jesus stands for a moment, looking around at the group.
Then He turns to Thomas. “Ah, Thomas, My
beloved Thomas. Could you not believe that I was alive unless
you touched Me? Then, friend, come and touch me. See that it
is I. Put your fingers into the nail prints in My hands. Touch
my feet. Thrust your hand into the scar on my side. Don’t be
so filled with doubt. Believe, Thomas. Oh,
believe.”
Thomas, instead of putting his fingers into Christ’s scars,
throws himself at His feet, his face awash with tears. All his
doubt is gone. At last he believes. “My Lord, and My
God!” he exclaims.
Lovingly Christ lays His hand upon the head of the weeping
Thomas. “Ah, Thomas, do you believe now
that you have seen me? Blessed are those who believe, but have
not seen Me in person.”
Thomas leaves the upper room. His heart is light. He is
singing. At last he can truly get on with his life, but it
will be in a different way from what he had planned. He would
serve His living Lord for the remainder of his life. Yes. He
would even die for Him if he was called upon to do so.
© Helen Dowd
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